MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
It’s about the nature of men on Lemmy, not men in general.
That’s true, but it doesn’t change my point that I don’t think generalizing such a large population is helpful
Women don’t have to be thankful or grateful for men at all times.
I’m not saying they should?
You took offense at one person saying that they’re grateful they’re not attracted to men.
That’s not what I took offense to, and I don’t believe it was the primary point of their comment either.
This is the full context of the conversation you replied to - if the men on Lemmy don’t want to be seen as the socialist type that still harbor misogynistic ideas, then they are the ones who need to change. Not the women who are accurately observing this and are repulsed by it.
Yes, the part I took offense to was this:
Not anything related to how that perceived character flaw of men on lemmy makes OP feel in terms of attraction. Again, I do not care who they are attracted to and I believe the primary point of the comment was to express this negative belief of the men on this site.
My objection specifically is that I don’t think this generalization is accurate as you claim. It is for some people, but not for all. And this is now turning into a “not all men” debate… I’m sure you have also had this argument hundreds of times so let me know if you want me to give an explanation my best shot but honestly if you believe generalized statements about men are valid then I probably won’t be saying anything you haven’t heard before and vice versa.
You already agreed with me that this thread shows that the men in here, on Lemmy, do not respect women’s perspectives of abuse.
I’ve been on this earth about 40 years. I am fully aware of how most men are, not just online, but in person as well. Women’s lived experiences dealing with men are often dismissed, as they are here, so I don’t expect less from you to be honest.
And I say this as a woman who loves men. I have a lot of good and kind men in my life that I love dearly. But they tend to be exceptions with how they treat women. And Lemmy has continued to show me this truth.
Edit: It’s actually really topical that this hit the news yesterday as well -