“We would be winning the war in Iran had Obama not revealed the existence of aliens to our enemies. You know it explains everything, and the biased news media won’t even talk about it. They’re too busy talking about, frankly, things that didn’t happen with me. Impossible things. They want to distract you from aliens with some fake hoax about some island that doesn’t matter anyway. Something VERY BIG is happening in the skies! Releases the files!”