Once I carried a ginormous pair of scissors to the room where we keep our cat’s bowls so that I could cut open the food bags. As I walked out, the hand holding the scissors bumped into the doorframe, driving the blades into my gut. Fortunately, there was discomfort, but no penetration. “Phew!” thought I; “I’ll be more careful next time I’m carrying these scissors.”

Anyway, on my way out of the cat room, the exact same thing happened in reverse. Since then, I haven’t handled those scissors, nor inadvertently stabbed myself with any others.

With all respect, the first paragraph seems self contradictory.

I think at least one of us is confused. I apologize if I was unclear at some point.

I apologize for missing your other comment, but isn’t posting the Garfield variant something I already did?

While the Heathcliff variant is more prevalent on Lemmy, Garfield Minus Garfield does exist and is highly enjoyable. I haven’t checked, but I suspect it inspired the Heathcliff one.