Nothing. You can only invoke article 7 against a specific country, and with 2 there’s insufficient votes to invoke article 7 against either. You can’t do a “twofer”.

You have to remember this was considered an unthinkable nuclear option when the treaties were draw up. That two countries could both diverge so far from the EUs ethos would horrify the (possibly naive) original founders.

As that worn quip goes

" they did nazi this coming"

Wtf ? On what planet is the BBC “left centre” it is as establishment as it gets

To suspend Hungary (your first point) legally requires unanimity of all EU countries aside from the one to be censured. (Article7)

Unfortunately Slovakia has recently elected a pro putin govt who will now block any attempt to deal with Orban.

There was a short window between the end of the Polish far right PiS being in power and Slovakia changing leadership when it could have been done. Unsurprisingly Orban was very compliant during that period and as soon as he regained an ally is back to his old tricks.

There is no legal way to _do what you suggest

Edit, missed a word