Anybody want a peanut?

presses hitchhike button

“The clock is broken, but it’s currently right.”

Something can be wrong 99% of the time. Pointing out the 1% doesn’t make the other 99% good, or that 1% wrong as well.

Grilled pineapple is good on its own, the burger is garnish.

I think a swarm of antelopes sounds incredibly terrifying:

Just a mass hooves, fur, and antlers; can’t tell where one ends and the next begins; roaming across the land, leaving only destruction in its wake…

Don’t worry, he can still be president with a record like that!

🤢🤮

40 year old movies are not really a major influence on slang & pop culture…

There are 2 types of pug owners:

• My precious baby is perfect and can do no wrong.

• You’re lucky I love you you ugly little shit.

Having a space to go where I can pull off the mask of “normal functioning human” for a bit.

Glyphica has a demo on Steam that’s good enough for you to get some practice in for free. Typing tower defense.

Living: Gabe Newell

Dead: Sir Terry Pratchett

Fictional: Commander Samuel Vimes

This sounds like the plot of a horny anime video game that I would get on a steam sale for a 70% discount.

That’s exactly how they said it!

I have heard people drop the “point” and say “One Fourty-four”.

Everything runs Doom, even Doom!

“Cryptkeepers of Lemmy, what are your best crypt stories?”

Melania did a better job during contract negotiations and only has to make 3 official appearances per calendar year.

Also, she’s an illegal immigrant and is afraid to leave the country because Trump won’t let her back in.

"I’m sorry, due to political instability travelers from your country must be held for seven days while we run a background check to be sure you’re not attempting to illegally enter our country.

Here’s a 3cm thick mat and a 3m x 3m room that’s lit 24/7. See you next week. I suggest you take a vote on which corner is the bathroom."

Deport the illegal aliens!

Is he pulling a JD Vance?