On the list- Record podcast with some friends, fix a kitchen drawer and adjust some doors, mow my lawn, laundry. So far I’ve done everything but the mowing. And at this point I have zero intention of doing it. Partly because it’s time to eat jelly beans and watch YouTube but mostly because I’d have to finish cleaning the trash out of my yard I started cleaning yesterday. The excuse for not doing that is trash doesn’t get picked up till Thursday.

OK, we’re out of bullets. Let’s call it a draw?

This isn’t true at all. He’d be shipped to El Salvador for being brown first.

How’s that ceasefire going?

Laugh all you want but this is clearly a top 4d chess move. It’s a little early to tell exactly what it is, but it’s either the I’m rubber; you’re glue gambit, or it could be the neener-neener maneuver. Either way, we should be proud to witness this in our lifetimes.

I have 3 kids. I’ve never lied to them about Santa. I’ve always told them that the idea behind Xmas was kindness and giving and left it at that, and that the whole Santa thing was just a fun story to play along with, like the tooth fairy or social equality.