I’m German and I worked in an office with managers and engineers who had a background in construction or related jobs. There is a very strong attitude of “We didn’t need that bullshit back when I was an apprentice.” There is a lot of scoffing at people who wear saftey gear and follow the rules. Corners are being cut and safety rules ignored because “we didn’t need all that bullshit back then and losing a finger or two is just part of the job”.

Some German news articles mention that the company in charge of the project had a bad track record when it comes to following safety regulations and the very same construction site had to be stopped before due to broken bolts in the bridge.

The University where I studied switched from Linux to Windows because to many people complained that it was “too hard”. Even the computers in the library that were just for searching books aka 90% of the time just using the browser were switched from Linux to Windows because the students complained. I now work in a job where most of our customers are public institutions and you won’t even get our IT department to let go of decade old outdated software. Too many old people who will throw a hissy fit if anything suddenly looks different from what they’ve been used to for 30 years.

My contract also won’t be renewed. My bosses reason that he explicitly told me is: I don’t fit in because I ask too many questions like “Why don’t we use better alternatives for X software.” We do “project planning” with email-chains and Excel sheets. No, we can’t have any project planning tools, because this is what the 60-year old colleagues have been doing since their first day 43 years ago. If it was good enough for them back then it’s good enough for you now. That’s just how we do it here, since you can’t get used to it we’re letting you go. Etc pp, you get the idea. And the people in the IT department are the same! Never change a running system, it’s worked for 40 years now, no need to try something new.

There’s just no way you’ll get a public institution to switch to open source. Everybody over 50 will scream bloody murder about having to change how they work and it’ll be changed back in no time.

I’ve been abused (physically and mentally) by my parents and bullied at school. I can obviously only talk about myself, but maybe my experience helps you.

Understanding, that those people will never care or feel guilt, is hard. Especially when you were abused as a child and hoped for a happy end. Actively trying to get over it also didn’t work very well for me. For me the best thing to do was focus on other things: find friends, find hobbies, do whatever you always wanted to do (I started wearing clothes I was forbidden to wear and practicing hobbies that were ridiculed).

Just fill your life with things you like and the bullies and abusers will become smaller and smaller.

Therapy is a good start to help you with this and question yourself, who you are and who you want to be.

I was always so confused by the tongue areas because it never seemed to work for me. Especially sweet, I tasted sweet far more at the back than on my tip.