'I’m not a big fan of the grind. Can you fundamentally change the way experience works to accommodate my personal preferences?"

I just want to see reporters hound him with questions beginning with, “So when you raped those kids…”

“This!”

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

Why do they have to say the things? People don’t say the things here.

I always try to imagine the process of deciding, and it’s hard to take it seriously.

“Carnidal Donatello has done some great work for the church, and the nuns really like him.”

“Yes, sure, I agree with you there. However, I think that Mortimer has been much closer to God. I saw him the other day – Mortimer, that is, not God – and I swear he was radiating with light.”

“Mortimer truly does radiate with light, but that may have been due to his proximity to the CNPP back in '86, and might explain his extra appendages… You’ve certainly been quiet through these deliberations, Marco. What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Me? Oh. Well… I kind of like Bill.”

"When asked how they managed to fend off the reptiles, crash survivor Amos Moses said, “I just knock 'em in da head wit a stump.”

That man enjoys gentle mornings beside the goose garden.

Next one will be the Tesla Model 80085…

His juvenile enthusiasm for the letter X is so ten-year-old boy with sunglasses.

The voters for sure. I’ve engaged with so many obnoxious, irrational, hyper-aggressive people lately who are so high on their own farts and delusion that they’re beyond getting through to. One guy even offered to “fly me out today” to fight him over the subject. Right-wing propoganda has them angry at their own shadow.

I know advocating for violence is frowned upon, but maybe fucking these people up is the only way to get through to them. Seems to be the only language they speak by the end of any argument.

That would have been the only footage of a human getting their head blown apart that I would have watched every day over breakfast.

That Pledge of Allegiance shit really worked.

Do you believe that we are in any kind of high-road position at this point in time?

Did you also meticulously research how to close your comment with the lamest fucking sentence possible?

It would just be dismissed as AI now. Everything like that will be dismissed as AI.

That’s one way of looking at it. I always perceived the distinction to be more of an intended disgrace upon ex-Americans who have left the country. “Guess you’re no longer a patriot then.”

It’s the (stupid) legal term of an American who has moved abroad. Even my tax returns are done through “expat services”.

I’m an expat who has been a permanent resident of Canada since 2017, and it’s a horror show watching Trump receive a second term and then turn on Canada. I know his threat of invasion/buying Canada or whatever is all peacocking, but if in ten years I’ve been thrust back into the American healthcare system, I’ll throw myself off of a bridge.

Heard an old bitch (Alberta) complaining yesterday in my store about something Joe Biden did.

I’m a Valheim guy myself. Pretty relaxing life out in the Meadows.

It’s honestly pretty fucking sad. It’s a bummer to see how many people on this planet become willful (sometimes) cannon fodder for some perceived glory that feels bigger than them, but in reality, their motherland is often just another gluttonous vampire slowly feeding on their necks and humming songs of heroism into the victim’s ear.

This man’s vampire probably watched his family starve with indifference, and then after this guy committed some sort of crime of desperation, it pulled him close, stroked his hair, and whispered that there was still a way to make it up to him. To make it up to all of them. And my, how proud you’ll make the motherland.