It’s like one of those comments you type out half-asleep on the toilet some mornings before stopping yourself and asking, “Why the fuck am I even saying this?”, before deleting it and going back to lurking. Except he didn’t delete.

Word is that it’s actually really hard to obtain Morbius, as Glorious Leader checks out the only copy nearly every single week.

Imagine your local movie ninja leaves you the portable DVD player beneath the usual log at the edge of town. You bundle it up inside of your goods and inconspicuously bring it home. That night you gather your husband and three children to partake in the wonder that is western cinema. You blow out a few candles and remove a small brick from the hearth, retrieving the portable player from within and popping in your two counterfeit Enjerjizer D-cell batteries. There in the gloom of your commonspace the disc whirrs to life, and the gentle glow of the Morbius menu screen illuminates the faces of your awe-stricken children. It is like magic.

The following afternoon you kneel solemnly in the town square, looking down at their bodies. The distant croon of a raven can be heard.

“모비우스 재미있게 보셨나요?”, the stern-faced soldier asks, the barrel of his pistol planted firmly at the base of your skull. “나는 닌자에게 내일 가져오라고 부탁했습니다.”

It’s the last thing you ever hear.

Must have been needed for progression. RNG is a monster sometimes.

You’re a fucking dumbass person who made an honest mistake, and you should be thrown into a woodchipper commended for owning up to it.

I’ve heard The Walking Dead comics are actually quite solid, and differ substantially from the TV series. I’d love to see a faithful animation adaptation done in comic-style art.

I try to, but I never actually reach unconsciousness until I inevitably get cold and pull the sheets or blanket over my body to some degree. I find that on particularly hot nights, it’s enough to drape a sheet over my waist, so long as my feet are outside.

As a father, the most important thing to me is making sure that my daughter is safe and free of worry. If she’s sleeping soundly, I’m sleeping soundly. I can’t even begin to imagine watching her endure this level of hell until her/our inevitable demise.

'I’m not a big fan of the grind. Can you fundamentally change the way experience works to accommodate my personal preferences?"

I just want to see reporters hound him with questions beginning with, “So when you raped those kids…”

“This!”

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

Why do they have to say the things? People don’t say the things here.

I always try to imagine the process of deciding, and it’s hard to take it seriously.

“Carnidal Donatello has done some great work for the church, and the nuns really like him.”

“Yes, sure, I agree with you there. However, I think that Mortimer has been much closer to God. I saw him the other day – Mortimer, that is, not God – and I swear he was radiating with light.”

“Mortimer truly does radiate with light, but that may have been due to his proximity to the CNPP back in '86, and might explain his extra appendages… You’ve certainly been quiet through these deliberations, Marco. What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Me? Oh. Well… I kind of like Bill.”

"When asked how they managed to fend off the reptiles, crash survivor Amos Moses said, “I just knock 'em in da head wit a stump.”

That man enjoys gentle mornings beside the goose garden.

Next one will be the Tesla Model 80085…

His juvenile enthusiasm for the letter X is so ten-year-old boy with sunglasses.

The voters for sure. I’ve engaged with so many obnoxious, irrational, hyper-aggressive people lately who are so high on their own farts and delusion that they’re beyond getting through to. One guy even offered to “fly me out today” to fight him over the subject. Right-wing propoganda has them angry at their own shadow.

I know advocating for violence is frowned upon, but maybe fucking these people up is the only way to get through to them. Seems to be the only language they speak by the end of any argument.

That would have been the only footage of a human getting their head blown apart that I would have watched every day over breakfast.

That Pledge of Allegiance shit really worked.

Do you believe that we are in any kind of high-road position at this point in time?