MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
Well, in spite of the fact that the person I replied to is definitely a misogynist (and thus sexist), I would argue that there is one hundred percent an intended bias in their message to try to defend men’s (specifically) behavior when it is abusive by downplaying it.
But, thank you for standing up for women! I was unaware that women being infantilized was, in fact, more sexist than saying it is okay for anyone to abandon their partners when they explicitly did not want to be abandoned! Was that your message? Because it’s weird that these women were saying they didn’t want to be abandoned and yet they were and that that fact must be about them being defenseless and not about abusive behaviors on the part of those men. How strange. Can you explain that?
Which of those stories are about women “abandoned by their partners when they explicitly did not want to be abandoned”? The thing is all the situations in the article lack any details that would make them abusive. MJ from the excerpt was hiking very popular, short trail. She told the guy to go ahead because she couldn’t keep up and found another person to hike with. Those are the details we have. Naomi was left behind by two friends, man and woman, not her partner. The other guy went to retrieve a camera. It doesn’t say that he wasn’t coming back. It doesn’t say anything about how the “boyfriend ditched her” or “man left her behind”. If those situations were abusive and places those women in danger against their explicit wishes why it’s not in the article? I’m assuming it’s because there are no other important details. All we know is that women were left behind by someone walking faster. You somehow after reading the same article understood that all those women were saying they didn’t want to be abandoned while nothing like that is in the article. Then you claim everyone who disagrees is a misogynistic monster.
Of course it’s possible I missed it. If you show me the parts of the article about the situation you’re describing I will of course agree with you it was abusive and sexist behavior on the part of the partner.
I would argue that all of them did not want to be abandoned, yes. But let’s go through them one by one.
Saying “fuck it, just go” sounds like someone who was being pushed to a point where they got frustrated and then exploded on the other person. That definitely sounds like she didn’t want to be abandoned but also that she didn’t want to be forced at the same pace. That doesn’t sound like a case of someone wanting them to leave them behind, especially because they, you know, did say that they were abandoned, ya know?
Person two, same deal. I do not think she wanted to be left alone.
Person three, four, or five, same deal. I do not think they wanted to be left by themselves. That… That is what abandoned means, buddy. Do you not know what abandoned means?
I don’t know where you are getting that the issue is “women are defenseless”. The issue is pretty clearly that these particular women and several like them have been abandoned in unfamiliar places when they did not want to be. If they did, why the fuck would they be complaining about this behavior?
But also, I am arguing that the person I replied to was definitely a misogynist. Or would you like to defend them? I can find you some of their very sexist comments and you can pretend they’re not sexist or whatever and then go back to what I assume will likely be you complaining about circumcisions, but I don’t have time for making fun of you properly. I will just have to assume you’re an MRA now and then not be surprised later to find that it’s true.
You claimed that they explicitly (clearly; plainly; without disguise or reservation of meaning; not by inference or implication) didn’t want to be abandoned by their partner. You failed to convince me anything like that is described in the article. If this is what happened it would be great if the article described it clearly, explicitly if you like, not leaving most of the stories for us to guess. If that’s what you see there that’s fine, you’re free to reach your own conclusion. I don’t see it there. Claiming that someone is a misogynist because they read the article for what it is without guessing what other people wanted or not is, in my opinion, gaslighting.
Well, no, that’s incorrect. I said partner_s_, buddy. At least get the basics right when you’re gonna ignore facts. I do like that your take is that an article about women who talked about their experiences with alpine divorce were definitely people who wanted to be abandoned, that sounds correct.
You are a sad weirdo.